Thanks to your overwhelming votes and support, I have been voted Lansing Mayoral Candidate for '09 in the Lansing City Pulse... almost.
Almost meaning... the award was attributed to my father!
Now, there was some glee in reading a confused blurb stating "Uh, this guy is a musician in the bands Mystic Shake and Blue Jello. But, sure, why not?". I must state, though, however delighted my father must be knowing that a non-Lansing resident has been attributed to a Lansing position, that ignorant slut knows it belongs to me! Instead of sending my dad the most evil, vile, trashy e-mail and anthrax you could possibly imagine (believe me, it crossed my mind! my TWIZZZZTDDDD MIND~), I decided to write the Lansing City Pulse a letter, which I will share with you riiiiiiiiiiiiiight NOW:
"Dear Lansing City Pulse,
I would like to extend my sincerest gratitude in the voting of Ben Hassenger for Lansing Mayoral Candidate for '09. My stomach got tingly and my fingers started to twitch with excitement UNTIL I read the blurb mentioning the fine bands Mystic Shake and Blue Jello... and realized that the award was mistakenly attributed to my father! At first I thought it was just a twisted April Fools Joke, but I slowly realized that my beloved City Pulse had made an error. It's ok though, for many fathers and son politicians with the same names have been confused and mangled over the years... John Adams and John Quincy Adams, George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush, Ronald Reagan and Chuck Ragan, to name only a few. For the record, I do play in a few fine bands myself, both Frank and Earnest and the Cartridge Family.
I am truly touched by the honor and grace of the beautiful Lansing community for their overwhelming support. Never would I have imagined that this pipe dream of mine - to one day, sit in City Hall or the Capital Building or the Unicorn or whatever and decorate this city with love and peace - stood a chance of becoming a reality. Now, thanks to the Lansing City Pulse and the pristine population of Lansing, this pipe dream is becoming more and more of a pipe reality.
If you would like to follow my progress, please join my Facebook group "BEN HASSENGER FOR MAYOR OF LANSING, 2009" or my Myspace page at myspace.com/benhassenger20